Too many marriages end in court and permanent separation which is far from what God intended for the husband and wife connected by His will. This ministry is purposed to help you not to make that dreadful choice; let God lead and let us help. firstname.lastname@example.org
THE TWO SHALL BE ONE FLESH
[Eph 5:21-33 NLT] 21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God's word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Proven Ways To Resolve Conflict
Every relationship experiences some conflict. Some experience more than others, some are playful, and some are hateful. Then there are those that are never-ending patterns of relationship conflict that seem impossible to break.
If you do want to stop the cycle of conflict, consider these 10 steps to bring harmony back to your relationship.
Cool Down Time
If you’ve found yourself in a heated argument, the best thing you can do is walk away for a little while. Before going separate ways, take a deep breath and agree to discuss the issue later. The whole goal of separating should be to come back together with a better ability to work things out.
No matter how divided you are in your positions, always remember the humanity of the other person. Keep in mind their weaknesses and frailties. Think about the respect you want and then give it unconditionally to the other person. Be kind even if you are angry. If that makes you cry instead of screaming, you’ll probably find that your are getting closer to the true root of the issue. When you get to the root, you can start solving things.
Start with Yourself
Ask yourself what part of the argument is your responsibility. How did you contribute to this argument? What can you do to resolve it? Do you need to apologize? Do you know how?
From your perspective, what is the argument really about? What would the other person say the argument is about? What common goals do you both share that could be used as a vehicle to reach a resolution?
Needs vs. Wants
Figure out what it is that you want. Then ask yourself, “what do I really need?” Go for what you need and be flexible on your wants. A need is something you can’t live without and a want is more of a preference. A resolution doesn’t mean you get everything you want, but hopefully you get everything that you need. If you can’t get what you need then you may need to re-evaluate the relationship.
Compassion and Empathy
How is the other person feeling? How would it feel to be in their shoes? Be honest. What are their fears behind the anger? Focus on the good qualities in the other person and consider what their goals are.
Wisdom and Strengths
What are the best qualities of this person? What wisdom do they possess? Everyone is smart about something. How can you tap into that wisdom to help you move forward out of conflict? What can you learn from your partner?
Better to Be Happy than to Be Right
Conflict can be hurtful and damaging to a relationship when allowed to run wild. Take a step back to view the big picture. What do you really want? What is your goal?At the end of your life, how will you view this argument? What will you wish you did? How can you emerge from this conflict and return to a light and peaceful state?
What good things do you want for your partner? How can you help that person get what they need while you get what you need, either actively or by taking a step back?
Good Times Together
Often we can get into a pattern of conflict with partners and friends when we are not finding time to share fun together. So once the immediate conflict is resolved or at least semi-resolved, take some action that will have long-term benefits. Schedule in fun time together on a regular basis. A good place to start is once a week. Designate this time to be “Fun Time Only” together. No discussion of trigger topics, just fun.